This is my last post about the bar exam. Mainly because I was simply waiting for the results to be published for six weeks, so there's not really much I can say I did other than work and wonder if I did well enough to pass. Here's a breakdown of the passing weeks:
Week One
Over the past week, I've been tempted to look back at my law school and bar exam notes to see if I fully/correctly answered everything I was asked. I've been able to resist this. I believe it would do more damage to me mentally to assess what I didn't do. A wise bar-exam instructor advised against doing so, referring to doing so as "post-mortum-ing" the bar.
It took a few days for me to calm down, but I'm finally at peace with not having anything to do. Sometimes this is difficult for people to understand, but law students have been going 100MPH for 3-4 years and suddenly there's nothing to do but wait around. It's strange to adjust back to a normal life.
Week Two
By now I have answered inquiries from friends and family concerning the bar a hundred times over. How do you think you did?-Usually this is followed up with the courtesy "I know you did fine"
When do you find out results?-April 12, don't worry I have this date circled in red.
When can you handle _____ for me?-Um, not interested. Just kidding. Partially.
Week Four
Taking the bar exam now seems a thing of many moons past. I've officially stopped analyzing my essay responses in my mind, a much-welcome calm.
Late last week I was contacted by the attorney who will conduct my face-to-face character and fitness interview. There are several existing theories surrounding this interview and whether or not you've passed the bar. Some people claim getting an interview means you have at least passed the multiple choice portion of the bar. It's a slim sliver of hope for some. However, until I see my name on the successful list on April 12, I won't hold my breath on such theories.
We're sixteen days away from bar results being released. Or 384 hours. Or 24,040 minutes. Not that I'm counting...
April 12
In one of the most cruel and unusual forms of punishment, the Tennessee Board of Law Examiners posted a simple message on their website that results would be posted "By 2pm on April 12". Since we're practically lawyers, the word "by" is open to infinite interpretation. What it resulted in was 400+ people hitting refresh at every waking opportunity starting at 12:00 a.m. on April 12. I was no exception. I woke up in a fit of anxiety at 3am that morning, checking on my phone. No results yet.
9am. 10am. 11am. 12pm. No results yet. Fortunately it was a busy day in the office but the fact that I would know whether I passed was like a clanging gong all morning. Finally at 12:30 I had enough. We had some documents that needed to be filed in court so I gladly volunteered. I left my cell phone at the office so I could'nt be bothered. After going to court I took a prolonged stroll around downtown Nashville.
Right before 1pm my wife called and told me not to check the results until I had her on the phone. We endured 4 years of law school and 2 months of bar review together (she graciously taking care of our daughter, allowing me to get this far), so we would endure the results together.
A friend notified me at 1pm that results had been posted. I called my wife. I was shaking as I pulled up the webpage and scrolled down to the W's. Click HERE here to see the results.
I HAD PASSED! Needless to say working the rest of the day was out of the question. My boss and I celebrated, everyone in our law office offered congratulations.
My parents, Heather's parents and I went out to dinner that evening. My mentor and close friend Tim generously offered to take me out to celebrate after dinner.
The reality set in the next day. I was finally done. There were no more tests, books, or cases to brief (at least in the earning a degree or license sense). The following weekend was a huge relief filled with encouraging and loving support from friends and family.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Day 2: Rock Bottom (Part 2)
The second day of the bar exam is 200 mutiple choice questions (called "Multistate"), broken into 100 in the morning and 100 in the afternoon. I felt good about the morning session. I was consistently eliminating wrong answers quickly, arriving at what I felt was the correct answer.
I spent lunch time with some close law school friends. We tried to keep the conversation light, and avoided discussing bar-related matters.
I refueled with Red Bull, ready to tackle the final afternoon session. I was rocking along for the first hour of the afternoon when my body, drained completely from a lack of sleep, hit rock bottom.
I could barely concentrate. It now seemed that it was taking me twice as long to answer questions. Minutes seemed like hours. I still had two hours to go to finish the afternoon session. This was not good. Red lights and sirens were blaring "EMERGENCY!"
I put my head down, resisted the temptation to start freaking out, and simply pushed along. It was the longest hour of my life, but I eventually crawled out of my hour-long slump. The last hour wasn't easy by any stretch, but I had pushed through a huge mental/physical wall.
I managed to complete all 200 questions with 2-3 minutes left. I've heard horror stories from past bar takers of having 20-30 questions left unanswered when time is up.
I put my pencil down, hoping my hour-long lapse wouldn't hurt my score too much. At this point, I had done everything in my power to ensure a passing grade.
I spent lunch time with some close law school friends. We tried to keep the conversation light, and avoided discussing bar-related matters.
I refueled with Red Bull, ready to tackle the final afternoon session. I was rocking along for the first hour of the afternoon when my body, drained completely from a lack of sleep, hit rock bottom.
I could barely concentrate. It now seemed that it was taking me twice as long to answer questions. Minutes seemed like hours. I still had two hours to go to finish the afternoon session. This was not good. Red lights and sirens were blaring "EMERGENCY!"
I put my head down, resisted the temptation to start freaking out, and simply pushed along. It was the longest hour of my life, but I eventually crawled out of my hour-long slump. The last hour wasn't easy by any stretch, but I had pushed through a huge mental/physical wall.
I managed to complete all 200 questions with 2-3 minutes left. I've heard horror stories from past bar takers of having 20-30 questions left unanswered when time is up.
I put my pencil down, hoping my hour-long lapse wouldn't hurt my score too much. At this point, I had done everything in my power to ensure a passing grade.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Day 2: Pawn Stars (Part 1)
I left Day 1, essay day, of the bar exam feeling good. Since there are over twenty possible subjects to be tested and only nine essays, it's like spinning the wheel on a game show, only that your "prize" is a 30 minute recitation of law.
Since I only got 3 hours of sleep that night, I would sleep like a baby, right?
I went to sleep at 10 p.m.
I woke up at 4am. I'm amped and ready for Day 2 of the bar. WHY? Why can I not get a decent night sleep? Body, don't you know that we have another mental grind today? Ugh.
I turn the TV on in the living room to keep me occupied. Nothing but informericals.
I begin to watch several episodes of Pawn Stars on demand. It's my favorite way to pass time.
7:30 a.m. I throw on some jeans and a t-shirt again.
7:45 a.m. I'm back at the gas station again. Starbucks iced coffee and more Red Bull. That combo seemed to work yesterday, why mess with good luck?
8:15 a.m. I'm at the hotel ready for Day 2. But now I'm not amped. I'm exhausted from only getting nine hours of sleep over the past two days. Not good.
Since I only got 3 hours of sleep that night, I would sleep like a baby, right?
I went to sleep at 10 p.m.
I woke up at 4am. I'm amped and ready for Day 2 of the bar. WHY? Why can I not get a decent night sleep? Body, don't you know that we have another mental grind today? Ugh.
I turn the TV on in the living room to keep me occupied. Nothing but informericals.
I begin to watch several episodes of Pawn Stars on demand. It's my favorite way to pass time.
7:30 a.m. I throw on some jeans and a t-shirt again.
7:45 a.m. I'm back at the gas station again. Starbucks iced coffee and more Red Bull. That combo seemed to work yesterday, why mess with good luck?
8:15 a.m. I'm at the hotel ready for Day 2. But now I'm not amped. I'm exhausted from only getting nine hours of sleep over the past two days. Not good.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Day 1: Tossing and Turning (Part 1)
It's now 2am. The day of the bar exam. I'm awake. Haven't slept. Yet in seven hours I'll be beginning the test I've spent two months preparing for.
It's now 3am. I've punched my pillow countless times out of frustration.
It's 3:30am. Seriously, I'm still awake. This is not cool.
6:30 a.m. I managed three hours of sleep. Fortunately, there's not a dress code for taking the bar. I throw on jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket.
6:45 a.m. I'm at the gas station, deciding what sweet nectar will carry me through this day. Starbucks iced coffee. That's a good start. I'll need a carryover for the afternoon. Red Bull is on sale? That'll do.
7:15 a.m. I'm at the hotel where I'll be taking the bar. Forget that I've only slept three hours. I'm amped, nervous, anxious.
9:00 a.m. HERE WE GO. DAY 1 is underway!
It's now 3am. I've punched my pillow countless times out of frustration.
It's 3:30am. Seriously, I'm still awake. This is not cool.
6:30 a.m. I managed three hours of sleep. Fortunately, there's not a dress code for taking the bar. I throw on jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket.
6:45 a.m. I'm at the gas station, deciding what sweet nectar will carry me through this day. Starbucks iced coffee. That's a good start. I'll need a carryover for the afternoon. Red Bull is on sale? That'll do.
7:15 a.m. I'm at the hotel where I'll be taking the bar. Forget that I've only slept three hours. I'm amped, nervous, anxious.
9:00 a.m. HERE WE GO. DAY 1 is underway!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
T-Minus 6
Now it's 6 days before the bar exam.
For the past two months, I've woken up at 6:30am, gone to work, watched 3-4 hours of lectures, spent another few hours reviewing notes, taking practice tests, etc. There are days where I literally cannot fit any more legal knowledge into my brain.
I've had more than a few "bad days" where I wasn't scoring well on practice tests. My father, a practicing attorney, has peeled me off the emotional floor a few times.
At 6 days out, I finally feel good. I don't know everything about every subject, but I feel well enough equipped to pass. The next few days are all about maintaining my knowledge and refinement of understanding.
My wife has been a constant clanging gong (and rightfully so) that I HAVE TO TAKE BREAKS. I find it hard to shut my brain off. I find it hard to simply...relax. I often wake up in the middle of the night reminding myself of constitutional criminal procedures, whether or not the mortgagee clogged the equitable right of redemption, and other scary nightmares.
For any of you up and coming law school kids, or those thinking about being a lawyer, ye be forewarned.
For the past two months, I've woken up at 6:30am, gone to work, watched 3-4 hours of lectures, spent another few hours reviewing notes, taking practice tests, etc. There are days where I literally cannot fit any more legal knowledge into my brain.
I've had more than a few "bad days" where I wasn't scoring well on practice tests. My father, a practicing attorney, has peeled me off the emotional floor a few times.
At 6 days out, I finally feel good. I don't know everything about every subject, but I feel well enough equipped to pass. The next few days are all about maintaining my knowledge and refinement of understanding.
My wife has been a constant clanging gong (and rightfully so) that I HAVE TO TAKE BREAKS. I find it hard to shut my brain off. I find it hard to simply...relax. I often wake up in the middle of the night reminding myself of constitutional criminal procedures, whether or not the mortgagee clogged the equitable right of redemption, and other scary nightmares.
For any of you up and coming law school kids, or those thinking about being a lawyer, ye be forewarned.
Monday, April 8, 2013
One Month In
Fast forward three weeks since my last update. I'm now finished studying the six core subjects tested on the multiple choice portion. Yesterday I had a mock six hour test of the multiple choice part: 200 questions.
I took the test after working all day. I was already stressed from a busy work day and nervous about how I'd do. If I bombed this test if could be a crushing blow to my confidence and have a significant negative impact going forward.
The six hours taking the test weren't the best of my life. Because I took it online, I had my results instantly. In my mind I did "ok". I still wanted a higher score. Only after speaking with an attorney who works in the law library did I find out I was doing "very well" (her gracious words, not mine) for only being a month into studying.
Doing "well" early on can be a blessing and a curse. Yes, it was encouraging to see my progress, knowing the rubber was meeting the road. But it is oh so easy let off the gas and just coast.
At this critical four week point you're mentally worn down. The hardest part is retaining what you've already learned while continuing to add more. It's like packing for vacation thinking "How much extra can I fit into this suitcase?"
Bottom line: My studying thus far paid off. But I'm only halfway through. I'm now about to face essay studying. To make matters worse, the online instructors said it only got harder from here. Ugh.
Can I keep my foot on the gas for another three weeks or will I let up?
I took the test after working all day. I was already stressed from a busy work day and nervous about how I'd do. If I bombed this test if could be a crushing blow to my confidence and have a significant negative impact going forward.
The six hours taking the test weren't the best of my life. Because I took it online, I had my results instantly. In my mind I did "ok". I still wanted a higher score. Only after speaking with an attorney who works in the law library did I find out I was doing "very well" (her gracious words, not mine) for only being a month into studying.
Doing "well" early on can be a blessing and a curse. Yes, it was encouraging to see my progress, knowing the rubber was meeting the road. But it is oh so easy let off the gas and just coast.
At this critical four week point you're mentally worn down. The hardest part is retaining what you've already learned while continuing to add more. It's like packing for vacation thinking "How much extra can I fit into this suitcase?"
Bottom line: My studying thus far paid off. But I'm only halfway through. I'm now about to face essay studying. To make matters worse, the online instructors said it only got harder from here. Ugh.
Can I keep my foot on the gas for another three weeks or will I let up?
Friday, April 5, 2013
The Elephant in the Room
In the middle of putting these bar exam diary blogs together I began to wrestle with myself on when/how I should publish them. One of the driving fears in the back of mind mind was "What if I don't pass?"
Will I be embarassed that I took the time to document months of work for what turned out to be an unsuccessful attempt? Will I shut down my social media outlets and go pout in the corner, ashamed that I failed ?
I'll be honest. I'm scared shitless that my results come out next Friday. I'm scared that I'll embarass myself for posting blogs about studying if it turns out I failed.
The hard, cold fact is that law students fail the bar. I have tried looking at statistics of bar passage rates for comfort. I even Googled, "How can I know I passed the TN bar before results are posted?" One of my weaknesses is the "need for now". I want instant results. That doesn't exctly jive with a six-week waiting period.
I went ahead and made reservations next Friday evening for a celebratory dinner. I don't care if it's considered bad luck. Heck, I'll probably still go (sans popping champagne) even if I failed.
I have several more posts about taking the bar exam, including a disastrous late night experience the night before the bar began. I'm waffling back and forth on whether I want to share them before or after getting the results. Stay tuned!
Will I be embarassed that I took the time to document months of work for what turned out to be an unsuccessful attempt? Will I shut down my social media outlets and go pout in the corner, ashamed that I failed ?
I'll be honest. I'm scared shitless that my results come out next Friday. I'm scared that I'll embarass myself for posting blogs about studying if it turns out I failed.
The hard, cold fact is that law students fail the bar. I have tried looking at statistics of bar passage rates for comfort. I even Googled, "How can I know I passed the TN bar before results are posted?" One of my weaknesses is the "need for now". I want instant results. That doesn't exctly jive with a six-week waiting period.
I went ahead and made reservations next Friday evening for a celebratory dinner. I don't care if it's considered bad luck. Heck, I'll probably still go (sans popping champagne) even if I failed.
I have several more posts about taking the bar exam, including a disastrous late night experience the night before the bar began. I'm waffling back and forth on whether I want to share them before or after getting the results. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Gifting Yourself
Sometimes it's easy to write someone off when you cannot help them. In the law firm where I work I turn down many cases for many reasons. It's easy to simply explain that we don't practice in the specific area of law that the situation requires. It's also easy to say, "I'm not interested in taking on your case". It gets difficult when that person asks you that nagging follow-up question: "Why?" Now you're put in the position to either be rude and cease the conversation, or you can take the time to explain the "Why" behind the "No", meanwhile eating up valuable time. Time is money, right? Not so fast...
A father recently called me about the tragic death of his son. Every law firm he previously contacted simply said "You don't have a case" or "We're not interested". Early on in our conversation, I knew it wasn't something worth our time to undertake. It would require thousands of dollars in litigation with a near-zero chance of success. I prefaced our conversation by telling him this upfront. I then spent some time explaining why we weren't able to take his case and why it wasn't a strong case (in my opinion).
At the end of the conversation the father now fully understood why he didn't have a strong case. For all he previously knew, a bunch of lawyers kept turning him down and he was (rightfully) upset because he didn't know why. While I wasn't able to further help him, the father expressed his thanks in finally getting an explanation after getting nothing but unexplained rejection.
You have been given gifts, abilities and talents. They were entrusted to you to benefit others. Yes, serving people can be frustrating. But you cannot allow frustrations in dealing with hurt and broken people to cause you to "close off" from serving others down the road. Spend some time serving others with your gifts. I guarantee it will bring a joy that know amount of money can.
A father recently called me about the tragic death of his son. Every law firm he previously contacted simply said "You don't have a case" or "We're not interested". Early on in our conversation, I knew it wasn't something worth our time to undertake. It would require thousands of dollars in litigation with a near-zero chance of success. I prefaced our conversation by telling him this upfront. I then spent some time explaining why we weren't able to take his case and why it wasn't a strong case (in my opinion).
At the end of the conversation the father now fully understood why he didn't have a strong case. For all he previously knew, a bunch of lawyers kept turning him down and he was (rightfully) upset because he didn't know why. While I wasn't able to further help him, the father expressed his thanks in finally getting an explanation after getting nothing but unexplained rejection.
You have been given gifts, abilities and talents. They were entrusted to you to benefit others. Yes, serving people can be frustrating. But you cannot allow frustrations in dealing with hurt and broken people to cause you to "close off" from serving others down the road. Spend some time serving others with your gifts. I guarantee it will bring a joy that know amount of money can.
Monday, April 1, 2013
First Week In
Perhaps beginning bar review (a schedule determined by my bar review study course) as soon as Christmas died down was a plan forged in much wisdom. You have a few days off work, and there's really not much to do besides online shop with all those nifty gift cards you got.
The first few days of bar review were spent in the comfort of my own home. I was already off work, it was easy to sit down on the couch early in the morning while my wife and three year-old slept in. In retrospect, those were the easiest days of studying.
The next week was technically my first "full" week of studying. My boss had graciously allowed me to adjust my work schedule where I could come in earlier and leave earlier. This freed up my afternoons and evenings to spend studying in the library.
The first day of my full week was the worst. I was in the office an hour earlier than usual. I fired up my laptop and began the 3-4 hour online video lecture. Hours later, the video torture was over. Then came review of the lecture. Then came a quick quiz over the lecture. Then came multiple choice review of what I learned in the lecture. Finally, there was a preview of what the next day's material would be. All of this crammed into 6-8 hours.
I was mentally spent by 8:00 p.m. of the first day. However on the second day I noticed I was beginning to feel that this was now my routine. It was a tad easier staying fully engaged in studying all day.
The third day was even easier. Same for the fourth day. By Friday, I was a robot. Boom, I'm up at 6:30 a.m. Zap, I'm at work by 7:30. Pow, I'm watching the lecture video when I sit at my desk. Poof, I'm doing review questions by 2:00. After five days of sticking to my schedule I had trained my body and hopefully my mind would follow in step.
I was still facing 5-6 more grueling weeks, but it felt good to know that I had established a schedule and stuck to it the first week.
The first few days of bar review were spent in the comfort of my own home. I was already off work, it was easy to sit down on the couch early in the morning while my wife and three year-old slept in. In retrospect, those were the easiest days of studying.
The next week was technically my first "full" week of studying. My boss had graciously allowed me to adjust my work schedule where I could come in earlier and leave earlier. This freed up my afternoons and evenings to spend studying in the library.
The first day of my full week was the worst. I was in the office an hour earlier than usual. I fired up my laptop and began the 3-4 hour online video lecture. Hours later, the video torture was over. Then came review of the lecture. Then came a quick quiz over the lecture. Then came multiple choice review of what I learned in the lecture. Finally, there was a preview of what the next day's material would be. All of this crammed into 6-8 hours.
I was mentally spent by 8:00 p.m. of the first day. However on the second day I noticed I was beginning to feel that this was now my routine. It was a tad easier staying fully engaged in studying all day.
The third day was even easier. Same for the fourth day. By Friday, I was a robot. Boom, I'm up at 6:30 a.m. Zap, I'm at work by 7:30. Pow, I'm watching the lecture video when I sit at my desk. Poof, I'm doing review questions by 2:00. After five days of sticking to my schedule I had trained my body and hopefully my mind would follow in step.
I was still facing 5-6 more grueling weeks, but it felt good to know that I had established a schedule and stuck to it the first week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)