My Wife, the Giver

My wife and I decided to enjoy Christmas Eve morning at Cracker Barrel with our two girls.

While waiting for our order to arrive, my wife looked at me and said, "God is telling me to pay for  their meal". "Their" being a single father with his young daughter. He hadn't ordered much. My wife saw a single dad trying to enjoy Christmas Eve with his daughter.

I'm ashamed to admit, my first thought was "No". It will be embarrassing. I just wanted a nice breakfast with my family, now you want to pay someone else? What if he takes it the wrong way? We just spent our entire Christmas budget, now you want to spend more?

While I wallowed in selfish what-if thoughts, my wife kept looking at me.

Sensing my endless internal questioning, she simply looked at me and said "I'm not doing it unless you agree".

Several minutes later, I copped out. "It's whatever you want to do".

My wife called our server over, asked him to put their ticket on ours, and asked to remain anonymous.

Upon hearing the news that his meal was taken care of, the man instantly looked around the dining room, trying to spot who just paid for him. We had the benefit of being cloaked in the craziness that follows having a 6 and 1 year old.

He continued to look around. "I wish I knew who they were. I guess you're getting a big tip", he told the server.

After their meal, the dad continued looking around the room on his way out, hoping to catch whoever paid.

My wife had no hesitation wanting to give. She saw a need and an opportunity and instantly seized it. I stood back hemming and hawing. For those that know my wife, that is her heart. She sees a need and jumps on it.

Thank God for her example. Otherwise I'd still be scratching my stupid head pontificating whether I should open my hand to give.

To Serve

I took on a new client. At first I didn't want the case. But as she laid out the facts (which turned out to be correct after some digging) I offered to represent her pro bono. She burst into tears and it was a touching moment. But giving myself a pat on the back isn't the point.

I encountered an egregious injustice that reminded me why I went to school for my profession: to make things right.

Whenever it becomes just another client, patient, sale, whatever, remind yourself why you entered your profession, to serve. Chasing the money is a bottomless pit. If you've lost the ability to be a servant, it's time to evaluate if it's you or your environment that needs to change.

Good Money After Bad

Somewhere, many moons ago, crusty lawyers got together and decided it was acceptable not to return phone calls, to talk condescendingly to clients and use big legal words with clients in an attempt to project their expertise. As a collective, we are terrible at customer service and writing TV ads, except for this guy.

But there is a paradigm shift happening. No longer is it enough to merely throw six and seven figures at TV ads, bus wraps and billboards. People want the unfiltered truth before they hire you. What are current and past clients saying (online)? Whatever is being said, it's received more warmly than any amount you can throw into marketing.

Tail Wagging the Dog

The first day of law school a woman came to talk to us about the support group for lawyers, mainly drug and alcohol addiction. What stays with me the most was a story she told about a friend who worked their way up the legal ladder, making mid six figures, but later committed suicide. The pressure of managing client expectations, always having to be on top of one's professional game mixed with depression proved to be too much.

A few years later during my last year of law school I met a woman who abandoned her law license in favor of managing a parachute diving business. Amidst my disbelief that someone could simply walk away from their law license, she explained, "I'm happy. All my lawyer friends are jealous, still stressed out dealing with clients."

On a level, I can relate. The realities of client expectations are weighty. Very rarely are there outcomes where there are clear winners and losers. Truth is, most lawsuits/claims result in a compromise. Both sides walk away unhappy, one believes he paid too much, the other that he received too little.

What I have learned in my very short time of practicing from wise attorneys: manage expectations on the front end. Yes, there will be blowback from your clients. Recently a client tried asking me the same question four different ways to get the answer they wanted. "No, we're not discussing this again". As my supervising attorney poignantly told me a few days back, "Don't let the tail wag the dog".

That's not to say clients have no input. But as an attorney, you are the expert on the law, not your clients. Otherwise, they wouldn't be paying you. Learn when to step in and say "No, we are/are not doing this". You'll gain your client's respect, even if it comes at the price of an initial negative emotional response.

In my practice, I was tossed straight into the deep end of dealing with clients. It hasn't been easy. But it is a lot easier to convince a client to take a settlement and avoid costly litigation when I have gained their trust being honest from the start.